Roma communities around the world have many different customs and rituals related to pregnancy and childbirth.These traditions vary from region to region and from one Romani subgroup (vitsa) to another. In this article I focus on the traditions of the Vlax Roma people, specifically the Lovari vitsa I come from, and our practices surrounding pregnancy, birth, and the arrival of a child.

Vlax Roma are often considered one of the most traditional Romani groups today, maintaining many customs that have been passed down through generations and remaining strongly attached to their traditions.

Long before prenatal care and monitoring, Roma families understood the importance of pregnancy. In Vlax Roma families, a child is considered sacred. Pregnancy and the birth of a child represent new life and the continuation of the family. In Roma culture, nothing is more honored than a child in your arms.

Among Vlax Roma, as in most Roma communities, pregnancy is taken very seriously and treated with great care. When a woman becomes pregnant, it is not only a private matter for the couple. The extended family becomes involved, especially older women such as mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. They guide the pregnant woman and remind her of the traditional rules believed to protect the unborn child.

While there are sometimes public stories portraying irresponsible pregnant Roma women, these situations are rarely about ethnicity or skin color. They are usually connected to broader social problems such as poverty, drug addiction, abuse, or violence—issues that exist in many communities around the world. Yet the subconscious message in the non-Romani world often becomes simplified into a stereotype that Roma women are irresponsible mothers.

Pregnancy is a time of attention and care for Roma women. Her wishes are taken seriously, especially when it comes to food. In many Roma families it is understood that a pregnant woman should not be denied what she wants to eat. If she has a strong craving, the family tries to provide it. The men are often the ones expected to go and find it. People may say “Kaj vinel, te kaj vinel,” which means “Let whatever happens happen.” If the pregnant woman wants something, then whatever must happen to get it will happen. If she wants strawberries, strawberries must be found.

Today, with supermarkets and global food supply, this is easy. A hundred years ago it was not. Finding fruit out of season required effort. If a woman wanted apples in the middle of winter, someone had to search for them, trade for them, or travel to get them. Even then, the request was usually fulfilled.

Based on Vlax tradition, a pregnant woman should be surrounded by pleasant things and positive experiences. She should avoid stress, conflict, and unpleasant sights. Many families believe that what the mother sees through her eyes and experiences is also felt by the child through the soul, and that this can influence the child. Because of this, pregnant women are advised to avoid looking at disturbing things or people whose appearance might cause fear or discomfort, such as those who are mute, deaf, blind, amputees, or mentally ill. The intention behind this belief was to keep the mother calm and surrounded by positive influences.

There are also specific rules connected to places and animals. A pregnant woman should not visit cemeteries, since places connected with death are believed to carry negative energy. She is also often told not to touch hairy animals such as dogs. This is not only because dogs are considered impure (marime) in many Roma traditions, but also because it is believed that touching hairy animals might result in the child being born or growing unusually hairy.

Childbirth itself has traditionally been a women’s matter. Men usually do not take part in the birth. Older women with experience assist the mother and guide the process. In the past births were often arranged outside the main living area because childbirth was connected with ideas of ritual impurity. Today most Roma women give birth in hospitals, but the involvement of female relatives remains important.

During childbirth there are also certain rules meant to prevent complications. A woman giving birth should not wear jewelry, belts, or clothing with tight knots. Shoelaces should also be loosened or removed. According to tradition, anything tied around the body can affect the birth. If a woman wears belts, necklaces, shoelaces, or knots, the baby could be born with the cord wrapped around its neck.

After the child is born there is also a period of separation. In many Vlax Roma families the mother does not appear in the male community for about six weeks after the birth. During this time she stays mostly among women and focuses on recovering and caring for the baby.

In many Vlax Roma families, protecting a newborn spiritually is very important and often taken very seriously. Babies are believed to be especially vulnerable to harmful influences such as the evil eye or wandering spirits. One common way families try to protect a baby is by tying a red ribbon to the child’s wrist, clothing, or cradle. The color red is believed to keep devils and unclean spirits (bižuže) away.

Another important moment after the birth is the baptism. In many Roma families baptism is extremely important, but its meaning is often understood more as a blessing and protection for the child than as strict adherence to a Christian belief system. The act of baptism is seen as placing the child under the protection of God and guardian angels and welcoming the child into the spiritual and social life of the community.

The godfather also plays an important role in this ceremony. In Vlax Roma tradition the godfather is called kirvo, and the godmother kirvi. This role carries serious responsibility. During baptism the kirvo and kirvi become spiritual parents to the child. They are expected to support the child, guide him or her when necessary, and maintain a close relationship with the family. In many Vlax Roma traditions their role is also financial. The kirvo and kirvi usually pay for the baptism celebration, helping to lift the financial burden from the parents of the child.

The Muslim Roma in the Balkans do not practice baptism. Instead, they have their own traditions. For boys there is suneti, circumcision. Among Christian Roma, the baptism is followed by a celebration where the entire family, along with friends and relatives, gathers to eat, drink, dance, and give presents to the child.

In Roma culture, a gift is not only a present. It shows that the community accepts the child and wishes protection, prosperity, and a good life. In Roma traditions, gifts to a newborn child are usually given during the baptism celebration (bolimos) or when relatives first come to see the baby.

One of the most common gifts in Vlax tradition is gold jewelry, such as a bracelet, necklace, or small pendant, often passed down through generations within the family, carrying the family’s history and symbols. Relatives also often bring clothing, blankets, or bedding for the baby. Giving money is also common. It is usually placed in an envelope or attached to the child’s clothing during the celebration. The money is meant to support the child and family and to bring good fortune.

While celebrations are important for all children, boys in Vlax Roma tradition are often emphasized as carriers of the family lineage. In modern Vlax Roma families, these distinctions are less pronounced, and both boys and girls are equally celebrated.

These traditions show how Vlax Roma communities understand pregnancy and birth as moments that require care, respect, and protection. Practical experience stands side by side with beliefs that outsiders might call superstition, but together they form a system that has guided families for centuries. For some, they might sound outdated, and some might call them cheap folklore, but many Vlax families still follow them, keeping Roma traditions alive.

Whether one believes or follows these traditions literally or not, they remain part of the cultural memory of many Roma families. After all, I used to wear a red ribbon myself as a child. My mother probably touched our German Shepherd too often, since I turned out to be a very hairy man. Still, it seems the demons like to stay away from me most of the time.

Tfuj, tfuj, tfuj.